Teenage Girls

I am the mother of a teenage girl. I didn't realize that I was that old that I forgot what it was like to be a teenager, but then again, times were different then. Bullying didn't exist like it does now. And certainly not in so many different ways. I guess I don't remember wanting so desperately trying to fit in that I would do things that are not necessarily the right thing to do. I thought that we raised a bright, intelligent, strong girl with strong Christian values. And we did, but we didn't realize that there is no self-confidence and that is what is needed in order to hold your own in this world of bullies and mean girls.

Trying to build confidence is like trying to swim across a crocodile infested pool.  It is a lot harder than it seems.  I am not sure that by repeatedly telling her that what she does is good and trying to build up her confidence that way is working.   Especially when she keeps on feeling that what she is doing is not good enough.  Especially when it comes to schoolwork.  Nothing less than an A is really good enough and even though we keep telling her that getting a B or a C is okay, she doesn't accept it.  She is really hard on herself, and when it is extremely hard for her to get A's, it makes it tougher.  I don't want to build up confidence by telling her she is beautiful (which she is) because I am not sure that is the right message to send.  So we are trying to build up confidence by listening to what she has to say, acknowledging what she says, and either agree with what she says or gently (tough word to actually do) telling her what is right and wrong.  In some ways she is still a child trying to navigate her way in a grown up world, dealing with self-confidence issues, and still come out ahead of the game.  I feel as long as we keep encouraging her, keep teaching her the word and keep being there for her that she will become a strong confident young woman.

The Big Experiment Part II

Well, a month has gone by since I have taken away the WII, DS and computer at home. I think it worked. He did more reading, he played outside more (exercise)and he didn't keep telling me "Okay, I know" or "In a minute" everytime I asked him to do something. I mean there was still attitude (what should I expect from a 7th grader trying to understand school with everyone having attitude at school)but not as much. In fact, it was interesting because I went to parent-teacher conferences to see how he was doing and they all stated that he has been doing better. He still is not where I would like to see him acedemically. In fact the teachers all said that he could get A's. I know he could also, but he is the sort of person who doesn't have to study to get a good grade or at least a passing grade, and that is what he does. He doesn't study. I don't know how many more times I need to keep saying "study, study, study" for it to sink it, maybe I will always have to say it.

So the month was up and I let him use the gaming systems again, but after talking with his teachers, I decided to take them away and let him use them only on weekends. I feel that this is a compromise and we will see.

The Big Experiment

Today we are embarking on a new experiment, at least for our family. I read in the paper that it is proven that children who do not play computer or video games get better grades in school. So for the next month my son will not have access to any computer or video games and I will see how he does in school. Because almost every day he comes home from school saying that he has no homework.

He states that he won’t last a week without computer or video games. I beg to differ; I think that after a week he will have found something else to do. Something like read or study, or he will talk non-stop to us. Oh, never mind that one, he already talks non-stop to us, doesn’t matter what the subject, he just keeps talking.

So, I will let you know how this turns out, it should be interesting.