Teenage Girls

I am the mother of a teenage girl. I didn't realize that I was that old that I forgot what it was like to be a teenager, but then again, times were different then. Bullying didn't exist like it does now. And certainly not in so many different ways. I guess I don't remember wanting so desperately trying to fit in that I would do things that are not necessarily the right thing to do. I thought that we raised a bright, intelligent, strong girl with strong Christian values. And we did, but we didn't realize that there is no self-confidence and that is what is needed in order to hold your own in this world of bullies and mean girls.

Trying to build confidence is like trying to swim across a crocodile infested pool.  It is a lot harder than it seems.  I am not sure that by repeatedly telling her that what she does is good and trying to build up her confidence that way is working.   Especially when she keeps on feeling that what she is doing is not good enough.  Especially when it comes to schoolwork.  Nothing less than an A is really good enough and even though we keep telling her that getting a B or a C is okay, she doesn't accept it.  She is really hard on herself, and when it is extremely hard for her to get A's, it makes it tougher.  I don't want to build up confidence by telling her she is beautiful (which she is) because I am not sure that is the right message to send.  So we are trying to build up confidence by listening to what she has to say, acknowledging what she says, and either agree with what she says or gently (tough word to actually do) telling her what is right and wrong.  In some ways she is still a child trying to navigate her way in a grown up world, dealing with self-confidence issues, and still come out ahead of the game.  I feel as long as we keep encouraging her, keep teaching her the word and keep being there for her that she will become a strong confident young woman.